


Life Starts Now

by NaruSasuNaruLover



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death, NaruSasu - Freeform, Roommates, Self-Harm, Smut, narusasunaru
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:47:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27310666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaruSasuNaruLover/pseuds/NaruSasuNaruLover
Summary: Sasuke had been hardened by his life; he built walls up to protect himself. When he goes to college he meets his roommate, Naruto, who wants nothing more than to tear his walls down.First four chapters will all be posted at once then probably weekly updatesMind the tags for trigger warnings...more may be added as I go...Revised version of my fic previously posted on fanfiction.net...now with extra angst and smutFor now the number of chapters will remain the same but that may change depending on how much the story changes
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 18
Kudos: 45





	1. Home

**Author's Note:**

> Song of inspiration: Home by Three Days Grace

**“This house is not a home”** ****

A crash rang through the house, a telltale sign of his father taking out his rage the same way he did almost every night. Uchiha Sasuke closed his eyes and covered his ears, wishing to escape from the sound and what he knew was happening downstairs. He wished he could escape and just get away from the violence. He had only seen him hit her once before she sent him away to his room, telling him that everything would be okay. It was then that he'd learned what the look of rage looked like on his father's face.

Sasuke had thought that his life was normal. He hated to hear the sound of his mother's cries each night, but it was all he had ever known. As far as he was concerned it was normal for a father to beat his wife and children. His older brother, Itachi, did nothing to stop the beatings and so he thought that everything must be okay.

It wasn't until he was six that he learned his family wasn't normal. At six his parents allowed him to go on his first sleepover. Despite best friend, Suigetsu, living across the street, Sasuke’s father had been hesitant to allow him go. Suigetsu’s parents had assured them that he’d be fine. Sasuke didn’t realize it at the time, but his father only agreed so they wouldn’t ask any other questions.

He didn't fully realize how different his family was until about eight o'clock. At that time his house would usually be filled with his mother's cries and pleads, but Suigetsu's house was silent. "It's really quiet," he said, trying to see if it were always that quiet or if it were just the night. He knew that in his house there would be rare nights that were filled with silence. Those were his favorite nights, where he would be able to sleep without his mother’s cries keeping him awake. The problem was that his father seemed to always make it up the following night, as if he needed to double down to make up for a night of peace.

"Yeah," Suigetsu agreed. "Isn't it usually in your house?" he asked, confused by his friend's observation. They had been playing a video game, which at that age neither of them was very good at it. Sasuke just shrugged, not wanting to seem different.

The next day, Sasuke was back at his own home, still thinking about the contrast between his and Suigetsu’s house. As the night went on he wished his house were more like Suigetsu's. He missed the quiet of the other boy's house. It wasn't that noise in general bothered Sasuke; it was the sound of his mother's screams that upset him. It was what he knew was happening when the argument started. He couldn’t help but wonder what normal actually was. 

As he always did, Sasuke went to his brother for the answer. At the time Sasuke had idolized his brother. In his eyes Itachi could do no wrong. The older Uchiha was perfect; he got straight A's and was always at the top of his class. He was a quick learner and good at everything that he tried. Sasuke wasn't that lucky, he actually had to work in order to be anywhere near perfection. No one on the outside their family knew how hard he worked to be perfect; to them he was just another Uchiha. Still, he dreamed of growing up to be just like his brother.

There was a timid knock on Itachi's door. The older Uchiha knew exactly who it was just by the knock; only his brother would be so quiet as if he would get in trouble for interrupting him. "Come in Sasuke," he called, causing the young boy to open the door. Itachi signaled his brother toward him, "What's wrong?"

Sasuke often tried to cover his emotions, but Itachi could always see right through him. He crawled onto his bed, sitting cross-legged across from his brother. "I'm confused," Sasuke told him, a perplexed look on his face.

"What are you confused about?" Itachi asked. He wished that he could always protect the younger boy, but knew that he couldn't. No matter how much it hurt him to see Sasuke in any sort of pain, he knew that it was impossible. Itachi had a feeling as to what Sasuke was confused about; he just hoped that he was wrong. He wasn’t sure how to explain to the young boy why their father hurt their mother.

"Suigetsu's parents don't fight like ours," he explained. He was still young and wasn't hardened by the world like him. Itachi wasn't sure that he was ready for Sasuke to understand what was going on. He hated that his brother would lose his innocence far too soon because of their father's actions.

"I see," Itachi replied. He was trying to figure out how to explain it to Sasuke. It wasn't as if he could say, _"Well our father is an asshole"_ he knew that wouldn't go over well. Instead he took a deep breath and explained it as calmly as he could. "Father has a different way of venting his anger," he said, knowing it wasn't a good response. "His actions aren't conventional," he added, trying to sugarcoat the situation. It wasn’t that he wanted to justify his father’s actions; he just wanted to protect Sasuke’s innocence as long as he could.

"Why?" Sasuke asked. It was a simple question with a not so simple answer. The younger Uchiha was still confused. He didn't quite understand why his family was so different from other families.

Itachi looked at Sasuke, seeing his innocent, confused stare. He wished that he could just say, _"You'll understand when you're older"_ but he knew that the kid was too persistent to leave it at that. "Listen Sasuke," he sighed, trying to find the right words. "Father's actions aren't right," he told him. "I'm not sure why he does it, but it is his way of releasing anger," he tried to explain.

"Is he hurting her?" Sasuke asked sadly. He knew it sounded like screams of pain but he didn't want to believe that his father would hurt her. He tried to picture his father as a good man, but it was very hard to do when he heard her screams. "Why can't he find a different way to release anger?" he asked, not understanding how his father could do such a thing.

"Some actions can't be explained," he told Sasuke. He didn't answer the first question, not sure how to tell the other boy that their mother was being beaten up and he was doing nothing about it. He and his mother had always tried to protect him, minimizing any exposure Sasuke may have to their father’s actions. "Just try to go to sleep, everything will be okay," he promised, though he knew it wasn’t okay. Nothing about the situation was okay, but he couldn’t tell him that.

Sasuke just nodded with a frown. He didn't get all of the answers that he was looking for, but he got the most important one. He had confirmed that it was his family that wasn’t normal.

Over the next few years he'd learn that it wasn't only his mother that his father hurt. By the time that he was seven he'd received beatings as well. The only reason given was that his schoolwork wasn't perfect. At seven he was told that his grades had to be perfect; anything less than an A was unacceptable and there would be consequences. By eight he had a full understanding that his father was a monster. By eight he had learned that just because you live in a house, it didn't always mean that it felt like a home.


	2. Never Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Never Again by Nickelback 
> 
> I don't really like new Nickelback but this is one of their older harder ones and I suggest it because it was a big part of what inspired the story

**“Tonight she’ll find out how fucking tough is this man”**

The Uchihas, when one heard that name they had thought prominence, money, class, looks, elegance, and most of all: the picture perfect family. The thing people failed to remember is that every family has some dysfunction to it, some are just better at hiding it than other. In fact, those that try to hide their dysfunction the most are usually the ones that have the most to hide.

To an outsider the Uchihas were the kind of family everyone wanted to have. They had the father that worked hard, the stay at home mom, and the two boys that were at the top of their classes. To everyone on the outside nothing was wrong, but to everyone on the inside, nothing was right. They were far from perfect.

The things they did were never out of choice; they were out of fear and self-preservation. Uchiha Mikoto kept the house clean in the fear that if she didn't, she'd get beaten once again. It was the same reason that every meal had to be perfect and done at the time she said it would, the time her husband demanded it be ready. Everything had to be in perfect order, or else there would be consequences.

The boys had learned to keep their grades up out of the fear that what happened to their mother or what would happen to them. Uchiha Fugaku always threatened them to hit them and they knew it wasn't an empty threat. They knew that if they stepped out of line or did badly at anything they tried, they'd be in trouble. They were the perfect children, not because they wanted to be, but because they _had_ to be.

Uchiha Sasuke was only eight years old, but he knew the consequences of imperfection. He sat at the kitchen table doing his homework, trying his hardest to get everything right. He had been working on the math problems his teacher assigned. He concentrated, trying to figure out the answer without any help, just as his father wanted and expected. He knew that he couldn't ask for help, not while his father was in the room, so instead he just continued to try to think back on what he'd learned earlier that day.

"Aw, Sasuke there's a little girl outside leaving a present at the door," his mother said as she looked at the window. "I bet she has a crush on you," she smiled at her son before walking over to him and putting her hand on his shoulder.

His face took on a look of disgust, "Ew, girls are gross." He looked at his mother, "I don't want them to have a crushes on me. They have high pitched voices and wear pink." He said it as if they were offensive qualities.

His mother laughed, "One day you will." He just shook his head, disagreeing with her. She smiled at him again, "It's a part of growing up; you'll understand when you're older." She looked at her son, knowing he'd be a little heart breaker when he got older. He had the Uchiha good looks: dark black hair, the matching dark eyes with the pale skin to contrast it. She couldn’t help but smile when she realized that he looked more like her than his father, she hoped that he would act more like her too.

Their conversation was interrupted when Fugaku looked at the clock, "I thought that you said that dinner would be ready at six." He had a calm yet threatening tone to his voice. "It's six ten. Shouldn't it be ready?" he asked looking at her in distain. It was a tone that none of them ever wanted to hear.

"It's almost ready, I was just talking with Sasuke," she said as she rushed to the stove. "Just five more minutes," she hurriedly said.

Fugaku looked at Sasuke, not hiding his feelings toward him. It was obvious that he favored his other son. Itachi was the golden child; he had skipped grades and was always the perfect example of what Fugaku thought an Uchiha should be. Despite being at the top of his class, he was a disappointment to his father. He wasn’t like Itachi no matter how hard he tried to be. Most parents tried to say they didn’t have a favorite child, but his father made it painfully clear that Sasuke would never measure up to Itachi in his eyes.

Sasuke rubbed his arm from where his father had hit him a few nights before, but continued to look down at the paper. "Stop wasting your time and get to work making dinner. The boy needs to do his homework anyway, Itachi would be done with it by now," he said before walking out of the room.

Sasuke knew better than to think that was the end of the conversation. That was just the calm before the storm. He never hit before dinner, it was always when they just started to let their guard down. Sasuke was starting to realize that he should never be comfortable around his father; he could strike at any time.

"Go get ready for dinner honey, you can finish your homework when you're done eating," Mikoto smiled at him. He just nodded, making her frown at the saddened look on his face. She knew that he was scared of his father, but there was nothing she could do. She was scared of him too and leaving him would surely cause more harm to her than staying with him. No matter where she tried to take the boys, he'd find her and find a way to get full custody of Sasuke and Itachi. The risk of never seeing her boys again was far too much for her to handle.

**NS**

That night, Sasuke was playing one of his video games when he heard it, the crashing of glass. He figured it was a vase since they had plenty of them around the house. He knew it was only matter of time until it happened, it happened almost every night. He paused his game, knowing he couldn't play while he knew his mother was getting hurt.

As quietly as he could, he got up and snuck down the stairs. He sat in the dark on the stairs where he could see the living room and everything he was doing to her. Sasuke wished that he could help, but he was too young and too weak to even try to stand up to his father. He knew better than to go against him and he had the bruises to prove that even if he did, he wouldn't win. So instead, he watched terrified, knowing that no matter how many times it happened, he'd never get used to seeing her get thrown against the wall to the point that she'd almost need stitches. He didn’t want to see it, but he had to know that she was okay.

' _I wonder if he'll have to take her to the hospital again,'_ he thought sadly as the man he had to call a father gripped his mother's arm tightly as he took all of his rage out on her body. He never left marks in places people could see unless he could come up with a valid excuse for them being there. If he bruised or broke her arm, he'd merely say that she was clumsy and pass it off as nothing. Sasuke had learned long ago that when someone is held in high regard like his father, if they act like nothing is wrong then no one will think twice about what they say. His father did it all the time and it just made him not believe in the happy endings that fairytales made other children believe. No one stopped the dragon that was his father, why should he believe in happy endings?

As Mikoto was pushed against a wall for what felt like the millionth time that night she saw Sasuke sitting on the stairs. She didn't want her son to see Fugaku as a monster, despite the fact that he was. "Sasuke go back to bed," she cried to him, not able to contain the tears that fell from her eyes. She knew that it was only when the boys did something wrong or came out of their rooms during one of her beatings, that they got hurt.

Before Sasuke could say anything, Fugaku turned to him, "I'd listen to your mother." He had such rage in his eyes. He didn't care that his son was only eight, he would just as easily break him like he broke Mikoto and not even think twice about it.

Sasuke hesitated for a moment, wanting to help his mother, but the pleading look in her eyes that told him that he'd better go. He stood up and hurried up the stairs, _'Why couldn't I just be stronger?'_ _He felt weak not being able to help her when his father got abusive._

"You really care about the boy don't you?" Fugaku asked, though no response was expected. "You know, I looked over his homework. He got some of the questions wrong," he told her angrily. "Uchihas don't get questions wrong," he added. The tone in his voice was chilling and made her wonder why she ever married the man in the first place.

"Well then teach him how to do it Fugaku," she had had enough of how he acted, of all of the beatings. "You're his father. You're supposed to help him," she frowned, trying to hold back her tears. She knew that she'd get hit for her comment. The only thing that she felt was more important than her own life was her sons' lives. 

"You don't tell me what to do," he yelled as he backhanded her across the face, making her fall to the ground, hitting her head on the living room table as she went down. "I'm going to go have a talk with the boy, straighten him out," he said as he turned toward the stairs. _"Talk"_ was his code word for beating and she wasn't going to let that happen again.

"No," she said as she stood up, her legs shaky as she forced herself to be strong. He stopped in his tracks, looking at her as she continued to speak, "No you won't." She opened the gun cabinet, which was supposed to be locked, "I've had enough." Hurting her was one thing, but the thought of him hurting Sasuke again was too much. She had finally gained enough courage to do something about it and she knew that using a gun would be the only way to ensure that her boys would have a better life. A simple threat wasn't enough to make him stop; she had to follow it through. She pulled the trigger, causing the gunshot to echo through the house and Fugaku to fall to the ground. She knew that the police would probably be called by one of their neighbors, but there was no way she was going to try to make it look like an accident, she had been thinking of doing it for months. Once he hit the ground, she felt like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders and she didn't care about the consequences, she just wanted him dead.

Meanwhile, Sasuke sat in his room staring at the television screen. He had yet to resume his game when he heard the shot. His eyes widened and he'd thought that his father had actually killed his mother. _‘Who pulled the trigger?'_ was all he wondered as he jumped out of bed and ran down stairs. He didn't care if it meant that he may get a beating, he had to find out what happened; hoping that it wasn't too late to help his mother.

He stood at the halfway point of the stairs in shock at seeing the gun in his mother’s hand. She stood there, standing still as if she couldn't believe she'd actually done it. Her arms had dropped to her sides as she watched Fugaku start to bleed out from the wound in his heart. None of them knew that she had secretly been going to a shooting range to practice her aim while the boys were at school and he was at work.

Sasuke knew that he should be sad that his father was lying dead on the ground, but he couldn't bring himself to feel anything. The man had hurt everyone in the family, and so he couldn't exactly say that he'd miss him. It wasn't like he acted like a father; he didn't even deserve the title of father. Father was a name he hadn’t earned.

Itachi ran into the room and immediately started to survey the scene. At thirteen years old, he was a very smart young man and he knew what would happen to his mother. He quickly grabbed the gun from her and said, "Go." Before she could say anything, he demanded that she leave. "Go before the police get here." His mother was covered in blood splatter; he couldn't have her there when the police arrived.

Without thinking, Mikoto took off as fast as she could. She figured that the police would search for her to arrest her and Itachi wanted to let her get somewhere safe. All she could think was, _'Don't do anything stupid Itachi.'_ It was clearly premeditated. The gun safe had been unlocked and the gun loaded. If they looked into where she had been, her time at the shooting range would be damning evidence.

Sasuke looked at Itachi, who was wiping the gun clean of any finger prints before replacing them with his own, "Itachi what are you doing?" He was concerned for his brother since he seemed to be doing his best to cover up that their mother just killed their father. He wasn't sure what he was planning, but he knew that he didn’t like it.

Itachi shot the gun toward the wall, leaving a bullet and making it so that they'd be sure to find gunpowder residue on his hands. "It'll all be fine," Itachi assured him. "Kakashi will be named your guardian," he informed the young boy. "Just don't say anything and go along with everything that I say," he ordered. "Do you promise?" he asked. The youngest Uchiha just nodded. He had always been told to listen to his brother when his parents weren’t around to supervise, so that was what he was going to do. "Good," he sighed, trying not to think about if he was doing the right thing. Itachi continued to make it look like he committed the crime, including trying to incriminate himself, making it seem as if he had killed their mother as well. He knew the criminal justice system and how it would play out; once they had a confession they didn’t look any further. He wanted to make sure that if anyone had to take the blame he was the one. His mother had been through enough even if it meant ruining his life to make sure she could live hers.

**NS**

Sasuke wasn't sure what there were more of: police officers or reporters. The police officers were trying to get him to talk, but he refused. He knew his brother was lying and he wanted no part of it so he listened to his brother and kept his mouth shut. "Don't worry kid, we're going to contact the person your parents named as your legal guardian in case of an emergency and you'll be in a safe home as soon as possible," one of the police officers assured him. "Hopefully we'll find your mother soon, though your brother is telling us that she's dead as well. Do you know where he might have put the body?" The officer was trying to be gentle with Sasuke, but could tell that he wasn't making matters better.

Sasuke didn't say anything; he merely shook his head no. He looked down as the police officer escorted him out of the house and past the reporters. They told him he'd be safe at the police station until Kakashi could pick him up. All Sasuke wanted was his brother, but he knew that he wouldn't get that. He looked over to one of the rooms and saw that he was being interrogated. He knew they were going to have him sign a confession and that would seal his brother's fate.

The cops were trying to be discrete but Sasuke could still hear them talking, "Yeah, the kid confessed. Thirteen and he killed both of his parents. He still won't tell where his mother is." Everyone knew that Itachi was a child prodigy, which was the only reason that they were able to believe that he'd committed the crime.

The other cop's eyes widened, "Wow, it's like nothing I've ever seen. It's unbelievable. But he signed the confession, right?" The first cop nodded. "I can't believe it. Do you think they'll prosecute him as an adult? He could get 25 to life if they do." He had committed murder, even more so it was supposedly premeditated, and there was a very good chance that he'd be tried as an adult. Sasuke was ready to cry but all he could remember was his father telling him that men don't cry.

"They could to make an example out of him," the other responded. "I just feel bad for the brother, now he has no real family, only that pervert Kakashi," he said filled with sympathy for the boy. Nobody seemed to take Kakashi seriously and most wondered why the Uchihas would list him as the guardian. They didn't know how much the man actually contributed to the Uchiha Corporation.

Sasuke frowned at their words, he didn't like the idea that Itachi could get a life sentence for something he didn't do. He found himself hating his mother in that moment and angry with Itachi for taking the blame. _'Why'd they have to leave me all alone?'_ he wondered, just wishing for some real family to comfort him in a time like this.

"Kakashi's here," a new cop said to him with a smile as he escorted the silver-haired man into the room. He didn't expect an answer; Sasuke had been silent since they brought him in. It was as if he had become a mute, but the officer couldn’t blame him after what the child had seen that night.

Kakashi frowned at the boy. He knew everything about the Uchihas, even the bad, and he highly doubted that Itachi had done what he detailed in his confession. He may not know the details, but he knew Itachi wasn’t a killer. "Ready to go Sasuke?" he asked. The boy just nodded, it was obvious that a piece of him had broken with the disappearance of his mother and the prosecution of his brother. "Don't worry Sasuke, it'll be okay," he tried to assure the young boy, though Sasuke didn't seem convinced.

**TBC…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think


	3. Get Thru This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Get Thru This by Art of Dying

**“If I can get through this, I can get through anything”**

Kakashi looked at the youngest Uchiha. The young boy was sitting in his chair, looking down at his hands. He had been playing with his hands for the past ten minutes, thinking about something that the older man couldn't figure out. It was like the young man had a secret and was trying to hide behind his long, dark bangs as his eyes were shining with sadness, not hatred.

For only being eight, everyone knew that Uchiha Sasuke knew how to hold a grudge. Kakashi had no doubt in his mind that if Itachi had killed his parents then Sasuke would be angry with him. Even though Itachi was the one person Sasuke looked up to more than anyone, Kakashi knew that he wouldn't be able to forgive him for killing his parents right in front of him, especially his mother. The silver haired man took a deep breath, quietly saying to himself, "Damn it, he didn't do this." It saddened him to know that neither of the Uchiha brothers would speak up.

Kakashi looked over at the older Uchiha, who had been handcuffed and was being interrogated one last time. The cops weren't supposed to continue to interrogate once there was a confession, but they did because they had a hard time believing the confession and didn’t want a good kid to ruin his own life. Sasuke hadn't wanted to leave his brother; he tried to fight him to stay and the only way he got him out of the police station that day was by telling him that they could come see him the next day.

"What are you doing back here?" one of the police officers asked Kakashi. "Sasuke doesn't need to see this," he told him. The officer sounded annoyed with the other man's actions. He felt that Sasuke didn't need to be scarred more than he already was by the entire process. Everyone knew that the incident would change Sasuke forever and the officer didn't want it to be worse by watching his brother be taken to jail.

"I promised we could come back, that's the only way he'd leave yesterday," Kakashi explained. "I'm just not sure what to think of it, Asuma," it was his way of saying that he didn't believe that Itachi had done it.

The other man looked over at Sasuke as he shrugged. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, "He's the only family the kid has left." He offered Kakashi one, but the man just turned it down, "Don't dwell on it. Just get the kid out of here." Asuma wasn't willing to think about what else may have happened in the Uchiha house, he didn't want to believe that an innocent kid was going to go to prison.

Kakashi nodded as he watched the dark haired man walk away. "Easier said than done," he said to himself, knowing the boy would put up a fight. He sighed, _'Maybe I should have taken that cigarette.'_ He stood up straight and walked over to Sasuke, "Come on, it's time to go."

Sasuke just looked up, but he didn't say anything. He shook his head and looked back at his brother, showing that he wanted to be there for him. The kid was stubborn, everyone knew that, and in that moment he was showing just how stubborn he could be. He didn't want to abandon the only family member he had, especially since he knew the truth.

"Don't make me carry you," Kakashi warned. The Uchiha just stared him down, not believing that he'd do it. "Don't say that I didn't warn you," the man said as he picked Sasuke up and threw him over his shoulder. "Time to go," he told him.

"Put me down," Sasuke yelled as he kicked. "Kakashi this is embarrassing," he saw everyone staring. None of the Uchihas were easily embarrassed, but he had known the family well enough to know that his actions would definitely be embarrassing. Uchihas had too much pride and being carried out of a police station was one way to hurt anyone's pride.

"Will you be a good boy and do what you are told?" he asked calmly. He was having too much fun with torturing Sasuke, especially considering the situation.

"I'm not a dog," Sasuke growled. He tried to squirm out of Kakashi's arms with no success. "Let me go," he demanded.

"Then stop making me treat you like one," the man simply said. "I mean there is a fine line between dog and child. I could always demean you by getting you one of those leashes for kids," he grinned. He knew that he shouldn't be smiling at that moment, but messing with the young Uchiha was just too much fun.

"Fine I'll behave, just let me go," Sasuke cried, as he looked around, incredibly embarrassed at his situation. He hunched over, trying to hide behind his hair.

"Promise?" Kakashi asked, knowing how much the young Uchiha hated his predicament.

"Yes I promise," Sasuke cried out. Kakashi just chuckled and put the boy down. Sasuke turned and kicked the older man in the shin before crossing his arms stubbornly.

Kakashi looked at the boy with disapproval. It didn't really hurt, so he didn't yell at him. He knew just by looking at him that Sasuke had been through enough. "Come on, let's get out of here," he said. Sasuke just nodded before taking one last glance back at Itachi.

As they walked out to the car Sasuke remained silent the entire way. While it was normal for the young Uchiha to be quiet, it was still a signal to Kakashi that something was wrong. He tried to make conversation, but nothing he brought up would make the boy talk. The only thing Sasuke would say was "Hn" or "Whatever." The only way he had gotten anything resembling a full sentence was when he embarrassed him and it made Kakashi believe that there was more to the story.

When they got to the car, the silver haired man looked over at the young boy, trying to decide whether or not he should ask the question. "Tomorrow we're going to find out if your brother is going to be charged," the older man said as he looked back at the young boy. Kakashi already knew the charges, what he was going to truly learn was if the district attorney would be seeking to charge him as an adult. He didn't start driving; he felt that the conversation was too important.

"Hn," Sasuke said, looking out the window. He was frowning as he stared at the police station that he knew held his brother. Sasuke knew they were trying to find out the truth, but he also knew that they wouldn't break him – they wouldn't get Itachi to tell what truly happened that night.

"Your brother could get sentenced to life in prison Sasuke," he said, hoping that the boy would show some kind of emotion. He wanted him to say something. To tell him that he deserved it or that he didn't do it, anything to show that Sasuke knew what happened. Sasuke looked down at those words and so Kakashi pushed further, "If you know something that could change that, you need to tell me."

"I can't," Sasuke said quietly. "I promised Itachi that I wouldn't," he added meekly. He didn't want to break his promise, so instead he sat quietly in the back seat, playing with his fingers.

"How about I guess and you just nod if I'm right," Sasuke just nodded, figuring it wasn't telling if he didn't actually say anything. "Am I right in thinking that Itachi didn't kill your parents?" Sasuke nodded in response and Kakashi just frowned again. "Is your mother still alive?" he received another nod. "Did she do this?" earned him yet another nod. "Will you tell the judge and jury this?" Kakashi asked, but Sasuke just shook his head no. "Why not?" the older man asked. "If you tell us where your mother is then all charges will be dropped against Itachi," he tried.

"Itachi told me not to," Sasuke said. "He doesn't want them going after our mom," the young man explained. He was close to crying, but he wouldn't allow the tears to fall.

Kakashi frowned as he thought about what Itachi was doing, "If you tell me then we can get a lawyer to help her. She could claim temporary insanity or self defense." He'd known the Uchihas for years and he'd never thought that Mikoto would let her son take the blame for something she did. When Sasuke didn't say anything, he sighed and looked straight ahead of him as he said, "Don't worry Sasuke, you'll get through this." Sasuke didn't say anything and didn't look like he believed him. Kakashi wasn't even sure that he believed himself.

**NS**

Due to the guilty plea they didn’t have to wait long for the sentencing to be determined. As they sat in the courtroom all Kakashi could do was hope for a good outcome. He knew that with a signed confession, Itachi would probably be going away for a long time. But he also knew that the community loved Itachi and that most of them couldn't believe that he would do something so cruel as to murder his parents in front of his younger brother. If he were to have denied it, he certainly could have gotten off by the mere fact that most people just didn't _want_ to believe it. He just hoped that the judge had the same view.

"He's being prosecuted as an adult," an officer reminded them. Kakashi just nodded and put his hand on Sasuke's shoulder to comfort him. The man wasn't sure why Itachi had refused to have a lawyer, they could afford the best and he knew that it would definitely help in his sentencing. When the officer left, he tried to make everything appear okay. "It'll be okay," he once again tried to assure Sasuke. He knew Sasuke didn't believe it, but at that point he was trying to assure himself as well. The young Uchiha had stopped responding, he just looked forward and pretended that everything was okay.

Itachi stood in front of the judge. He had confessed to murder, there was no need for a jury to decide the verdict. It all depended on how the judge felt about the case. "Never in my life have a seen a case such as this," the judge told him. "You have admitted to killing two of the most prominent people in the community, your own parents," he continued, a stern look on his face as he examined Itachi. He looked over the evidence that was collected and felt as if he had no choice. "I hereby sentence you to life in prison," he stated. "With the chance of parole in 25 years," he added. "Court dismissed," he finished as the officers of the court started to handcuff the Uchiha.

Sasuke looked as if he were about to cry as he watched his brother be taken away in handcuffs. Their eyes met as Itachi walked passed him. Sasuke was silently pleading for him to say something, to take back his confession, but he did no such thing. All Itachi did was look at him as if to say, _"I'm sorry"_ and then continue on to his new destiny.

"You can say something you know," Kakashi said as he looked down at the youngest Uchiha. The young boy finally let a tear fall from his eye as he shook his head. He didn't trust his voice in that moment, knowing he wasn't truly strong enough to watch his brother go away for something he didn't do.

**NS**

When Sasuke went back to school, he didn't know how to take all of the sudden attention. Kakashi had talked to his teachers and homeschooled the boy throughout the process to try to help him adjust. Sasuke felt awkward as he sat on the playground in the morning with all eyes on him. They may have all been young, but it was all that all of their parents had been talking about. Everybody knew what had happened and everybody was looking at him with a look of extreme sorrow. He could hear people say, "Poor Sasuke" and "How could his brother do that?" Even the teachers pitied him. If there was one thing Sasuke truly hated, it was to be pitied.

"Hey Sasuke," a voice said, far more timid than he had ever heard her voice. He looked up to see his only three friends: Karin, Suigetsu, and Juugo. "How are you doing?" Karin asked gently.

He looked at her as if she were crazy, not only was the question, but also because of the way she was acting. Suigetsu and Karin would usually be fighting or talking about something, but they were acting as if he were too fragile for any of that. Juugo was the only one acting normal, as he was being quiet, as usual.

"I'd be better if you'd acted normal," Sasuke answered as he looked at the ground. He didn't meet their eyes. "Everyone else is already acting weird, you guys don't need to," he said sadly. He was truly vulnerable in that moment, but he refused to let it show. He had pulled his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them as if he were protecting himself from everyone.

Karin looked at the other two boys and nodded, "Well, then you got it." She sat next to him, "Just remember you asked for it." She tried to make him smile even though she knew the boy didn't want to. She knew she had to make everything as normal as possible. It was difficult for her to act normal when everything was far from normal, but she tried for Sasuke's sake.

The other two sat down, following her lead. "Don't yell at us later when we're being annoying," Suigetsu added with a smile, though the words were forced.

Sasuke forced a small smile on his face as he looked at them, "Thanks guys." Everybody had been on pins and needles around him so it was nice to have a few people who still treated him as if he were a human being. It wasn't as if he were broken just because his brother was suddenly in prison. "Please don't make me regret it," he added as he saw Suigetsu and Karin already starting to get into an argument over something he thought was stupid.

**NS**

Sasuke sat in his room at Kakashi's house that night. The walls were blank, his things were still packed in boxes, and none of it made him feel as if he were at home. _‘This where I'll live from now on?'_ he wondered as he looked around. _'I miss my old room. I miss Itachi,'_ he thought to himself how much easier it would be if Itachi was there with him. He looked down at his backpack, knowing he should do his homework. _'I just wish none of this had ever happened,'_ he frowned, trying not to cry again. He curled up on his new bed and closed his eyes, _'Why couldn't we just be a normal family?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think...


	4. Ghost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Ghost by Badflower
> 
> Serious trigger warnings in this chapter....really look at the tags of this story....

**“The cutting part was easy but regretting it is so fucked”** ****

**Seven Years Later**

Sasuke wasn't sure how he felt about high school. It wasn't as if he hated it, but he didn't exactly like it either. For most people their friends were the best part about high school, but for him his peers were the worst. While he could easily ignore most people, he didn't understand why he felt so different from other guys his age. Most guys his age were attracted to girls, none of them were able to understand why he didn't take any girls up on their offer and it made most of his peers think that he was either an asshole or just playing hard to get. The fact was that he just wasn't attracted to them.

He tried to see the appeal of the girls in his class, but he found it to be impossible to be attracted to them. While other kids were starting to get interested in the opposite sex, he found that he wanted nothing to do with girls. He could make believe that he felt a little normal when his friends were like him and remained uninterested in dating, but that all changed when they started high school.

During the summer before high school he could see a shift in Suigetsu and Karin’s relationship. They were getting closer while he felt like he was being left behind. The two of them still fought, but they also flirted and annoyed Sasuke even more. One day Suigetsu finally confronted him about his attitude, "You seem more annoyed with us than usual."

"I am," Sasuke huffed, knowing exactly what he was talking about. Suigetsu just looked at him, waiting for an explanation. "You guys are annoying, it seems like every conversation ends up with you two flirting," he explained, trying to hide the annoyance in his voice. He always tried to act unaffected. No one knew just how much being different truly affected his mental health.

Suigetsu's eyes widened, "Do you _like_ Karin?" His voice was a mix of surprise and anger. He didn't want a girl to come between them, but he felt that Sasuke should back off. The dark haired teen had plenty of chances to date Karin and didn't take the opportunity.

"Ew, no," Sasuke was disgusted at the thought of dating Karin. He wasn’t jealous of their relationship, but it just empathized how different he was from his peers. "I'm just," he started, trying to figure out what to say. He wasn’t exactly sure why he found guys appealing in the way the other guys his age were attracted to girls. "I'm confused," he confessed.

"You're _gay_?" he asked so loudly that Sasuke was sure many people around them could hear. Sasuke closed his eyes, knowing that the rumors would start to spread around campus. "You don't like me right?" he quickly asked, panicking that his best friend might be attracted to him. "Because that would be really awkward."

Sasuke just looked at him, becoming more annoyed as Suigetsu talked. "Why don't you just tell everyone," he hissed as he looked around and saw everyone staring. "To answer your question, I don't like you," he told him. "I can hardly stand you as a friend let alone like you like that," he added, emphasizing his point.

"Gee thanks," Suigetsu huffed, his ego a little bruised. "But I don't get why that would make you annoyed," he said, slightly confused. The light haired man could feel people staring at them, trying to hear what was sure to be the biggest piece of gossip for at least the next week. The girls looked like they wanted to kill him, thinking he was the guy Sasuke liked. Suigetsu quickly announced, "Don't worry I'm not the guy he likes." The statement made the girls look away, but made Sasuke glare at him.

"You did not just say that,” he seethed. “You’re such a moron.” Suigetsu didn’t respond, he just looked at him expecting Sasuke to continue their conversation as if nothing happened. After a moment of silence Sasuke finally mumbled, "You guys remind me that I'm _different_." He had just wanted a normal life, but it seemed that nothing about his life could be normal.

Sasuke absent-mindedly rubbed his arm where he knew the lines on his skin laid under his clothes. He knew it wasn’t a healthy coping mechanism, but as everyone looked at him he knew he’d probably do it again that night. It was just another thing that made him different, but it was at least something he could control. While he was happy that his friend didn’t abandon him for being gay, he could feel everyone else’s eyes on him. He heard the whispered that were already starting and felt incredibly alone in that moment.

**NS**

It had been a little over a week since his and Suigetsu's talk and everyone had heard the news that Sasuke was gay. Most girls didn't want to believe it and thought he only said that to get some of the girls to back off. However, some of the guys looked at him differently too. "Hey Sasuke," his lab partner, Kurama, smiled as he sat down. He was generally a decent person, though everyone knew not to get him mad. "Guess what I heard," he grinned while putting his backpack down.

Sasuke didn't want to encourage him by guessing. The man already talked enough; he didn't need to make him think he should talk more. He looked at the redhead with a bored expression, "What?"

"You're no fun, you're not even going to guess?" Kurama jokingly whined. He knew that Sasuke wouldn't guess, but it was still fun to annoy the other teen. He and Sasuke had become somewhat friends and so he felt that he could joke around with him. "A little birdie told me that Yukio has a crush on you," he grinned as he saw Sasuke's reaction.

"Shut up moron," Sasuke replied, though a faint blush spread across his cheeks. It had been obvious to anyone that really knew Sasuke that he'd had a small crush on Yukio. Sasuke always thought that the other teen was straight so he didn't bother to get his hopes up. "Stop being an asshole," he mumbled, trying to continue with his bored tone.

"I'm serious," Kurama said, going into his gossip mode. "Look, he's staring at you," the redhead nodded in Yukio’s direction. Sasuke turned toward the other teen's seat and fought a blush when he saw that Yukio was staring at him.

When the other teen smiled at him, Sasuke couldn't help himself from returning the smile. The boy was Sasuke's ideal image of what the perfect guy should look like. He had blonde hair, blue eyes, and the best smile Sasuke had ever seen. When he realized that he had started to stare he quickly turned around. "Moron," he said again, causing Kurama’s grin to widen. "I don't even think he's gay, or did you miss the girl hanging off of his arm?" he pointed out, trying to remember not to get his hopes up.

"It's obvious that he's not that into her, after all he's staring at you," Kurama retorted. "She's just trying to act cooler than she actually is," he laughed, causing a small chuckle escape Sasuke's lips.

Sasuke soon learned that Kurama was right when a couple of weeks after the conversation Yukio asked him out. He was happy and everyone at school quickly heard the news. The problem wasn't school or Kakashi learning about his orientation and the fact that he had a boyfriend, the problem was that he was trying to make the decision of whether he should tell his brother.

"Is something troubling you Sasuke?" Kakashi asked. He had tried to learn how to be a parental figure, but found that he often failed. He couldn't help but to tease the young boy on a regular basis. It reminded him that he probably wasn't the best choice for guardian.

"Nothing," Sasuke mumbled, guarded as usual. Kakashi frowned, wishing that he could make the boy smile and talk like he used to, but he knew that it wasn't possible. He was never a talkative kid to begin with, but it had gotten worse when his parents died and Itachi went to jail.

"Is this about the boyfriend?" he asked as he sat down. "Don't tell me that you guys are already having a lover's quarrel," he smirked, making the Uchiha give him a nasty look. Kakashi just chuckled, happy that he at least got a reaction from the teen. "Is this about Itachi?" he asked, knowing that most things were about Itachi.

Sasuke sighed, knowing that it was he wasn't going to get the older man away unless he told him. "How am I going to tell Itachi that I'm gay?" he asked. "Father always said that being gay was horrible." No one else but him, Kakashi, and his few friends knew that Sasuke went to visit his brother every Friday. Not even Yukio knew and he hadn’t planned on telling him any time soon.

Kakashi felt his heart break a little for the boy. He knew that Sasuke had taken many of his father's words as the truth. It was as if he thought that everyone was going to hurt him for things that his father disapproved of, "I think Itachi is more understanding than that. Your father was a bad influence, you shouldn't want to be anything like him," he said, though he knew that most boys looked to their father for an example of how they should act.

Sasuke nodded, still conflicted. He didn't say anything as he got up and walked away toward his room. Kakashi hoped that he had gotten through to him, however the look on the boy's face told him that he probably hadn't.

**NS**

Over time the scars on his arms began to fade, barely noticeable unless you were looking for them. Despite not telling Itachi about Yukio, Sasuke was actually happy for the first time in a long time. At fifteen Sasuke thought he was in love and he didn’t want his brother’s disapproval to ruin it, so he remained silent. The problem was that it was difficult to hide his newfound happiness. He made up reasons that he knew his brother didn’t believe, but he never pushed him to tell him the truth.

Sasuke was excited when Yukio was the first to say, “I love you.” He was young and had no reason not to believe him. He didn’t question it after only a month of dating, instead he accepted it as fact and said it back. He hesitated when Yukio first brought up the idea of sex, but he thought they were in love and ultimately agreed. He never expected what would happen after he gave him his virginity.

They were lying in Sasuke’s be after school. Kakashi was at work so the had the house to themselves and were taking full advantage of the lack of supervision.

“What are these?” Yukio asked as he traced the fain line on Sasuke’s arm. He had thought they had been faded enough that the other teen wouldn’t notice.

Sasuke quickly pulled his arm away, “Nothing!”

“Right,” Yukio responded skeptically as he got up. Sasuke watched with confusion as the other teen started to get dressed. “Look, its been fun, but I think we should see other people.”

“You said that you love me,” Sasuke couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“People say a lot of things,” Yukio shrugged. “Besides, I can’t handle that kind of emotional baggage,” he told him as he gestured to Sasuke’s arm. “You know my reputation, did you really think this was going to last beyond sex?” he scoffed.

Sasuke quickly put the pieces together, feeling like an idiot for believing him, “So you only said it so I would have sex with you?” He felt his heart shatter.

“I knew you were smart,” he smirked. “I’ll see you around. Who knows, maybe if I get bored we could do this again some time.”

Sasuke watched in shock as the blonde left. He’d never felt so used and violated. Part of him wondered if he deserved it. He thought Yukio was right, he should have known better. He felt so stupid for buying into every word, thinking that he was somehow different from the others, but he refused to cry. He wouldn’t show that kind of weakness.

While it had hurt, Sasuke didn’t know the worst of it was yet to come. He’d thought that they’d broken up and were done. Sasuke never expected Yukio to talk about it to everyone. He could handle him talking about the sex, it was the cutting he never saw coming. When he heard the whispers in the hallway he expected it to be about the break up, but then he noticed people staring at his arms. Even his friends were acting strange towards him, as if they were walking on pins and needles. That was when he started to cut again.

Once he remembered Yukio’s words about the scars he immediately knew that the other teen had told everyone what he’d seen that day. Sasuke heard when some people would call him a freak in passing, He told himself that it was a trivial thing to be upset about, but he couldn’t help it. He just wanted it to stop. The rational side of him told him that it would end eventually; people would move on to the next piece of gossip. The emotional side of him thought it might just be better if he ended it himself. No one would really care.

Sasuke sat at home in the bathroom staring down at the blade in his hand. He had taken it to his skin multiple times, but never with the intent to kill, just to feel. This time was different. This time cutting wasn’t enough.

He was alone in the house, not expecting Kakashi to be back for a while. He hadn’t paid attention to where he was going or how long he’d be gone. All he cared about was the fact that he had left. The house was empty for him to do as his pleased.

Sasuke hesitated for a moment, thinking about the people in his life and who would really care if he were gone. He thought about his friends. They might e sad, but they’d moved on. They didn’t really need him they had each other. He thought about Kakashi. The man hadn’t been ready for a kid. If anything it’d probably a blessing to him – a weight lifted off his shoulders so he could do what he wanted, when he wanted without having to worry about him. He thought about Itachi. His brother might be the only person he thought would truly care. Then he remembered the man had taken the fall for something he didn’t do. He left him alone without thinking twice so clearly he didn’t care that much. If he truly cared then he’d be there. Lastly, he thought about his mother. He knew she didn’t care, he hadn’t seen her in seven years. Once upon a time he thought she’d come back and take responsibility for what she had done. He thought that her sons meant something to her, but seven years had proven otherwise.

He traced the vein on his left arm knowing that all it’d take is one cut. He decided this time it wouldn’t just be a surface wound. Sasuke dug the blade into his skin, slowly cutting up his arm along the vein. He stared as he hatched the blood start to pour out faster than ever. He took a deep breath before repeating the action on the other arm.

Sasuke dropped the blade as he leaned against the bathtub, feeling the blood run down his arms. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting there before his eyes snapped open as he truly realized what he’d done. He tried to get up to find something to stop the bleeding, but felt to dizzy to stand. _‘Fuck,’_ he thought, regretting his decision but accepting his fate. It had been so easy to cut, but the regretting part was difficult when he realized there was nothing he could do but accept it and decided that maybe it was for the best.

As his eyes drifted closed he heard the front door open and Kakashi calling his name. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out as he felt himself fading. He could hear Kakashi say something, but he didn’t know what. The darkness took over as he slipped into unconsciousness.

When Sasuke came to his entire body hurt. He could hear the sound of the heart rate monitor beeping and smell the distinct smell of the hospital. He opened his eyes to the bright light of the hospital room, He looked down at his arms to find them heavily wrapped in bandages.

“I thought I lost you,” he heard Kakashi say from the hair next to his bed. He hadn’t realized the man was there until he had spoken. “You could have died.”

“That was the point,” Sasuke said weakly. “I didn’t think you’d care,” he told him quietly. He was still a little light headed from the blood loss.

“Of course I’d care,” Kakashi frowned. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Sasuke shrugged, “Why would you is the better question.”

“I’ve raised you since you were eight, you’re like a son to me,” he surprised Sasuke. He’d never realized that the man felt that way. “Clearly I’m doing a shitty job if you want to kill yourself.”

“I didn’t think anyone would care. It’s not like you wanted a kid, you were just handed one,” Sasuke wouldn’t make eye contact. He didn’t wan to see the look in the man’s eyes. He was sure there was a mix of sadness and disappointment. It was nothing new, he had a tendency of disappointing people, or at least that’s what his father had told him when he was alive.

Kakashi sighed, “That doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you.” He wasn’t used to having such emotional conversations. Kakashi had known that something was wrong for a long time, but he would never have guessed that it were that bad. “What happened?”

Sasuke was silent, unsure how to answer. He didn’t want to tell the full truth, but he knew the man wasn’t going to give up until he provided some sort of explanation. “I’m sick of feeling different, like I’m some sort of freak. I didn’t think anyone would really miss me.”

It was obvious that there was more to the story, but Kakashi didn’t plan to push him any further. “We’re going to get you some help,” he said, knowing that it was long overdue. He’d never forced Sasuke into therapy, but now he was regretting the decision. The trauma he’d been through at such a young age was something he clearly needed to discuss with someone. “They’ve admitted you for suicide watch for the next forty-eight hours. They gave me some pamphlets and recommendations for someone you can talk to.”

Sasuke cringed at the thought of seeing a therapist, “I’m not crazy.” He couldn’t say he wasn’t suicidal; his actions had proven otherwise.

“I know, but I also think it’s long overdue for you to see someone to talk about everything you’ve been through. It’s a lot for someone your age,” he told him. He didn’t want to do it, but he knew that if Sasuke refused he’d likely have to make him stop seeing Itachi in order for him to compromise. He was happy when the teen didn’t argue; seeming to know it was a battle he’d never win.

“Can you not tell Itachi about what happened?” Sasuke asked, not wanting to disappoint his brother.

Kakashi paused for a moment, “I won’t, but you should tell him. He loves you, he should know.” Sasuke didn’t say anything. He wanted to argue that his brother didn’t rally care, that’s why he left him, but he kept his thoughts to himself. He had a feeling he’d be talking about his feelings soon enough when Kakashi forced him to see a therapist.

**NS**

After his suicide attempt it felt like everyone knew. Logically he knew that it was unlikely anyone found out, but people were still treating him differently. He wore long sleeves to hide the bandages, but he still felt self conscious about it all. The only good thing was that his friends seemed to notice that he needed some normalcy and were back to treating him the same, just as they had done when his parents died.

One Itachi finally confronted him about his recent behavior, "What's wrong?" He watched his brother tense as he continued, "You seemed happy there fore a little while, what changed?"

"I was with someone," he told him, not sure if he wanted to admit that the person was a boy. He started to stare down at his hands as he said, "I was dumped." He felt like an idiot as he told his brother and soon forgot exactly whom he was talking to as he said, "I believed him and he just broke my heart." He could tell Itachi didn’t believe that it was the whole truth.

"Him?" Itachi questioned. He had always had a feeling that Sasuke was gay. The boy never talked about girls unless his voice was filled with annoyance. He complained about his fan club, where most boys his age would gloat.

"I," he started. "Uh, well," he couldn't find the right words. Itachi just smirked at him, finding it fun to leave his brother speechless. "Do you hate me?" he asked as he looked down at his hands. He didn't want to see the hate in his brother's eyes.

"Sasuke," Itachi frowned. It saddened him that the boy would think something such as sexual orientation would make Sasuke think he'd hate him. "I could never hate you," he told him, making sure the seriousness of the statement was conveyed in his voice. "And trust me, if I weren't already in jail I'd end up here anyway for killing the boy that broke your heart," he told him, making the younger Uchiha smile a little. “I have a feeling there’s more you want to tell me.”

Sasuke nodded, not even sure where to start. He didn’t say anything; he just rolled up his sleeves to show the scars from the attempt. Itachi’s eyes widened as he looked to him for some sort of explanation, but Sasuke didn’t know what to say.

“Please tell me you didn’t do this just because of a boy,” Itachi wanted to kill whoever hurt Sasuke even more.

Sasuke shook his head. “I,” he started, searching for the words. “I’ve been cutting for a while,” he finally admitted. “I stopped for a while, but then everything happened and I was feeling overwhelmed and like no one would care,” he couldn’t look his brother in the eyes. “Kakashi is making me go to therapy,” he told him. He didn’t tell him that he hadn’t really told the therapist anything, but the woman was being patient and letting him go at his own pace.

“Good, I think you need it,” his brother said calmly, trying to process the information. “I love you, Sasuke. You matter, don’t forget that.” Sasuke just nodded, though he didn’t fully believe him. He was relieved when Itachi let them move on to a different topic, trying to make it as normal for him as possible. It would be a long road, but Itachi was determined to make sure Sasuke knew people cared about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think...there will be another time jump after this chapter


	5. Popular Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Popular Monster by Falling in Reverse
> 
> I'm gonna say what I say every time I use a Falling in Reverse song: I don't care if you don't like Ronnie Radke I like this song and think the lyrics work for this chapter. Regardless of if you think he's a bad person the song is great and if you've ever dealt with depression it's super relatable. 
> 
> When this was originally written the name of this chapter was "Fix Me" from a 10 Years song, but I feel that with the changes I made to this story and chapter this song fits better, especially the lyrics I put at the top.

**“I struggle with this bullshit everyday and it’s probably ‘cause my demons simultaneously rage”**

**Three Years Later**

Sasuke took a deep breath as he looked at the large building. _'Why did I decide to stay in the dorms?'_ he asked himself. It wasn't as if he were going to college out of state or even hours away from his home, though there were much better colleges that he could have chosen if he wanted. He stayed close for one very simple reason: his brother. He ran his hand through his hair, _'Which would be the lesser of two evils Kakashi or my roommate?'_ Kakashi had never been ready to be a father, though he did his best, it was evident that he wasn't ready to change his ways entirely. No matter how many times Kakashi and his therapist told him that he wasn’t, he still felt as if he were a burden on Kakashi, just as he had been a burden to his actual father. He had worked on a lot of things, but some things had been so engrained from his childhood that they wouldn’t magically go away through a few years therapy. 

People didn’t understand that therapy wasn’t a quick fix. Just talking to someone about your issues didn’t change your mind over night; it would take many more years to undo the damage his father had done. The insecurities that he tried to mask were still there, though he was better at coping with all of it now. He hadn’t really dated since Yukio and still had moments of feeling worthless or unloved that he worked through. Even though the scars from his suicide attempt had long faded and he hadn’t cut himself since, he was still insecure that people could see what he’d done when they looked at him. 

He decided not to think about it any longer as he started to walk towards his dorm room. He looked at the sheet of paper containing his room number. _'West Hall 345,'_ he read to himself once again, memorizing the number. He shoved the paper back in the pocket as he made his way to the third floor.

When he finally made it to his dorm he hesitated to open the door. _'What the hell?'_ he thought as he already heard voices from the other side of the door. The voices were loud and that was probably the last thing he wanted in a roommate. _'Just shoot me now,'_ he sighed as he pulled out his key and opened the door, thinking maybe Kakashi would have been the lesser of two evils.

The dark haired man saw two guys, one blonde and one brunette, sitting while talking loudly. They were laughing about something, but Sasuke had missed what it was about and didn’t particularly care. Once he walked in, they stopped talking and all of their attention turned toward the young Uchiha.

"You must be my roommate," the blonde said excitedly. "This is my friend Kiba. Oh, and I'm Naruto." He could already tell that blonde was hyperactive and Sasuke was wondering if he had some form of ADD by the way he talked and moved. Despite the look Sasuke gave him he continued to hold out his hand, wanting a handshake that Sasuke wasn’t going to give. It may have been rude, but there was already something about the other man that Sasuke didn’t like. When he seemed to realize Sasuke wasn’t going to shake his hand he lowered it to his side and glared at him, upset by his attitude.

"Right," was all Sasuke said and put his things down on the unclaimed bed. He was happy that it wasn't by the window, but that was the only good thing about the room. Overall, the room was small and he could already tell that his roommate was going to be loud and obnoxious.

"What's your name?" Naruto asked. Usually he'd write the guy off as a bastard, however, he couldn't help but find the man physically attractive. Anyone with eyes would be able to see that the dark haired man was sex on legs, even though he wasn't even trying. The fact that he didn't even try was probably the best part. It was too bad about his attitude.

"Sasuke," he answered, as he looked at the blonde, surprised that the blond hadn't already known that. Most people knew by his looks alone that he was the youngest Uchiha. He was hesitant about getting close to people and Sasuke didn't plan on changing that anytime soon. His roommate wasn't going to turn into his friend; he'd already decided that before meeting him.

"Okay, well I'm going to go," Kiba said quickly, already feeling awkward. "You're still coming tonight, right?" he asked Naruto, who just nodded in response. "Cool see you then," the brunette quickly walked out of the room. He realized that despite everything about the Uchihas being highly publicized, Naruto didn't realize who Sasuke was and thought, _'This is going to be interesting.'_

The small room quickly filled with silence once the door closed. Naruto wanted to talk to Sasuke, but had no idea what to say. "So," he started awkwardly. "Is this your first semester?" he asked, trying to make conversation. He guessed it was since the school seemed to pair first years together. He couldn’t remember if it was talked about in orientation, he had drowned out the majority of what had been said that day. It’d probably come back to bite him when he was looking for his classes, but he’d figure it out. 

Sasuke nodded, but didn't answer verbally. He started to unpack his things silently. He wasn't interested in getting to know people, they always asked too many questions. He decided that rather than trying to make friends with his new roommate, he'd text one of the few friends that he already had. ** _'West hall 345 my roommate is annoying'_** he sent to his best friend, Suigetsu, as he sat on his bed. He knew that if Suigetsu were already on campus, he would be there in a matter of minutes. His guess was confirmed when he received the reply, ** _'Can't wait to meet him, see you in a few.'_**

When the dark haired man looked up he realized that the blonde was still talking, attempting to make conversation even though he thought that he made it perfectly clear that he didn't want to talk. Sasuke put on his best glare, trying to scare the blonde away, but it didn't even seem to faze him. "Are you always this annoying?" he asked, his voice filled with venom.

Naruto shut his mouth, but only for a second. "Are you always this much of a bastard?" he responded angrily. "I was just trying to be nice and this is the reaction I receive," Naruto sighed in defeat. He was starting to get annoyed that his roommate didn't respond to _any_ of what he thought were good attempts at making conversation. It was like the man had no people skills whatsoever.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted with a shrug. He'd once again started to ignore the other man. ** _'What they say about blondes appears to be true, but I guess I already knew that,'_** he then sent before looking back up at the other man. _'This should be fun; I don't even think knows my last name. What a moron,'_ he thought with a smirk as he lied back on his bed.

"I'll take that as a yes," the blond huffed. "Asshole," he tried to mutter under his breath, but he knew that Sasuke had heard him by the look on his face. "Are you nice to anyone?" he asked, trying to get him to talk in any way he could. He wasn’t used to people hating him so quickly.

"Yes, just not morons," the man answered. He was just hoping to get the blonde to leave, though he didn't want to admit the main reason why. He didn't care if he were being mean; in fact, that was his goal. He didn't want to make friends and having an attitude was one way to ensure that he wouldn't be making any new friends any time soon. It had worked the majority of his life, he was sure it would work again. It usually didn’t take too many insults before people gave up trying to befriend him.

Naruto gave an annoyed grunt, "Whatever, I'm leaving." Sasuke just shrugged, which only made him angrier. "Asshole," he repeated again, louder than the last time, as he grabbed his jacket and wallet. _'People always like me,'_ he thought, frustrated. _'How can he hate me so quickly?'_ he wondered, trying to think of a way to make Sasuke at least give him a chance. He walked out of the room, not bothering to lock the door since Sasuke was in the room he didn't see any reason to. He turned around and promptly ran into a pale man with equally light hair. "Sorry," he muttered, still bothered by the Sasuke situation.

The man looked at the room that he had just walked out of, "So you're the roommate." He saw Naruto's eyes widen and he explained, "I'm Suigetsu, Sasuke's friend." He surprised the blonde by holding out his hand to shake. The light haired man had a smug look on his face as he scanned Naruto, understanding why Sasuke had a problem with him.

Naruto shook the pale man's hand, "I'm Naruto." He was a bit confused as to how normal Suigetsu appeared, if one didn't take his odd appearance into consideration. "I can't believe the bastard has a friend," he accidently said. Naruto didn't have the best filter when it came to what he thought and what he said, which often got him into trouble.

Suigetsu just laughed it off, "Sasuke's a little socially inept, don't take anything he says to heart." Naruto just looked at him with what seemed to be a slightly confused stare, which made Suigetsu think, _'This guy might be as dumb as Sasuke said.'_ He sighed, "He's a little damaged, it doesn't help his ability to make friends."

"I know what socially inept means," Naruto said defensively. "I'm not stupid," he sulked. He hated when people thought he was stupid just because of his blonde hair and his inability to concentrate on things for very long. "Did Sasuke tell you that I'm stupid?" he asked. "Because I'm really not, I just tend to change subjects a lot, which may come off as dumb to some people," he tried to explain. It was a common problem where people would just his rambling as being an idiot when really his mouth was just trying to keep up with his thoughts.

"Right," Suigetsu said teasingly. _'I understand why he annoys Sasuke,'_ he thought as he looked at the talkative man. _'Though on the other hand I'm sure that Sasuke doesn't find him as annoying as he says,'_ he took in the man's appearance. "I'm sure I'll see you around, but I have to go," he said with a chuckle. He just walked right into the room, knowing that Sasuke was expecting him.

' _Damn it, now they both think I'm an idiot,'_ Naruto thought with a sigh. _'I'll just have to fix that later,'_ he smiled, knowing that one way or another he'd make Sasuke become his friend. His persistence always paid off, this time would be no different.

**NS**

Suigetsu walked into the room to find Sasuke staring up at the ceiling. He had a feeling that he knew why Sasuke was being more of a bastard than normal, or more the reasons why. "You're attracted to him," he smirked. "At least physically," he teased as he sat on what he guessed was Naruto's bed.

"Excuse me?" Sasuke sat up quickly. "What the hell would make you think that?" he asked with a lethal tone. "Moron is _not_ my type and he is _clearly_ a moron," the dark haired man glared. His form of denial was only confirming Suigetsu's suspicions.

"I said _physically_ ," Suigetsu emphasized. "Don't try to deny it," he said, knowing Sasuke all too well. "Blonde hair, blue eyes, and well built. He's _completely_ your type," Suigetsu continued as he kicked off his shoes. "And that's the problem," he added, looking Sasuke directly in the eyes. "That's why you're trying to hate him," Suigetsu deduced.

"You're a moron," Sasuke muttered as he looked away. "I am not attracted to him," he said, wishing the conversation would just end. He hated any conversations that dealt with anything even remotely regarding his dating life, especially about his "type" as Suigetsu stated. He wanted nothing to do with blondes with blue eyes; Yukio had ruined that for him.

"The guy looks remarkably like Yukio," the light haired man pointed out. He knew that the blond man was still a touchy subject for Sasuke, but it was a valid point. He saw Sasuke stiffen when he asked, "Is that why you hate him so much?" He knew Sasuke generally disliked people and tended to keep his distance, but normally he was just indifferent toward them. He didn’t just hate someone so quickly.

"I don't _hate_ him," Sasuke huffed. "He just highly annoys me.” He could tell that Suigetsu was unconvinced and said, "It has nothing to do with the fact that he looks like that lying son of a bitch." Sasuke then realized that his choice of words probably didn't help his case. However he didn't care and he wasn't sure why he continued the conversation.

"Believe whatever you want to believe," Suigetsu shrugged, seeing Sasuke was getting agitated because of the conversation. "But," he started again, causing Sasuke to let out an annoyed groan. "You know your brother wouldn't be happy with the fact that you aren't even trying to make friends," he pointed out with complete seriousness.

"Itachi," he paused, closing his eyes for a moment. "Itachi just thinks that I'm broken because of everything that has happened. But I'm not, I don't need him trying to fix me I already have a therapist trying to do that," he said slightly angrily, as he opened his eyes once again. "There's nothing wrong with me," he added as he looked down, it sounded more like a mantra that he was trying to believe was true. They both knew he didn’t believe that what he felt was normal; it was just something his therapist said that he was repeating to end the conversation.

"We both know you don’t believe that no matter how many times everyone tries to tell you that it’s okay to feel how you’re feeling after everything you’ve been through,” Suigetsu argued. When the other man didn't answer, Suigetsu continued by saying, "You get like this every year around this time. If it's still affecting you like this, I'd say you're not okay, Sasuke. Have you seen your therapist lately? You know it’s important to talk to her around this time of year." He knew it wasn't what Sasuke wanted to hear, but he needed to hear it. If he never got over what happened all of those years ago then he'd never be able to move on with his life.

"Shut up," he muttered. "Itachi doesn't need your help, you're supposed to be my friend, not his cohort," he said defensively. His eyes were filled with a mixture of emotions, the main one being sadness.

"The anniversary is tomorrow," he reminded Sasuke. "What are you going to do this year?" he asked, concerned about his friend's mental health. He hoped that the anniversary of the "incident" mixed with his roommate looking remarkably similar to his ex wouldn't send him over the edge again. "You should see your therapist or at least do something to take your mind off of it," he tried. "We could go to the movies or something," he suggested. Each year he tried to get Sasuke to not think about what had happened, and each year he seemed to fail.

"No, thank you," Sasuke said. "Tomorrow I just want to be alone," he frowned. "And right now I _really_ don't want to talk about it," he added. Sasuke always got moody when the subject of his father's death and brother's imprisonment came up and Suigetsu knew that there was no way to get through to him in those moments. Sasuke had his demons and though he hated talking about it, Suigetsu knew they were always there in the back of his mind, especially on the anniversary of that fateful night. He understood it that night had changed his life forever, but he wished Sasuke would just let him help somehow.

"Right, sorry," Suigetsu nodded. "Let's go see what Juugo and Karin are up to, maybe they can cheer you up," he said as he started to put his shoes back on. Suigetsu knew that if he didn't change the subject then Sasuke would shut down and send him away. The dark haired man had many defense mechanisms and used them whenever he felt uncomfortable.

"I doubt it," Sasuke mumbled as he sat up, putting his shoes on as well. "You just want to see your girlfriend," he rolled his eyes, knowing his suggestion had nothing to do with Suigetsu wanting to cheer him up. "But whatever.” He knew that the rest of the night would most likely be similar to every other night. Suigetsu and Karin would either end up acting like no one else was in the room or they would fight and try to involve one of them as backup.

His guess was right. They ended up going to a movie, during which Suigetsu and Karin made out the entire time. The two then argued about what happened in the movie, to which Sasuke pointed out that neither of them were really watching the movie while Juugo stayed silent throughout the entire thing. The monotony was one of the things that made Sasuke feel comfortable with his friends. He liked when things were predictable.

**TBC….**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)


	6. Human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Human by HELLYEAH
> 
> This is a short chapter but it didn't feel right to add more to it.

**“I’ve been damaged, left in ruin ‘cause I’m broken, flawed and just human”** ****

It was the anniversary of the day that changed his life forever, the day his father died, the day his mother disappeared, and the day that Itachi confessed to something he didn't do. _'Can't believe it's been ten years,'_ Sasuke thought as he threw on a jacket. It was a chilly day and he knew that where he was going would be cold. He ignored the confused look on his roommate's face, knowing he was probably wondering where he was going so early in the morning.

"You don't have class today, where are you going?" Naruto asked, knowing that Sasuke didn't go out much. He got frustrated when all he received was silence. The only reason he was awake was because of the noise Sasuke was making that morning while he got ready to go wherever he was going. _'Seriously, he can't just answer one question?'_ Naruto wondered with a frown. "Are you going to see your friend? What was his name, Suigetsu?" Naruto asked, trying anything to start a conversation with the dark haired man.

"No," was all he said as he walked out of the door, leaving Naruto curious. Sasuke felt that it was none of the blonde's business as to where he went and why. He just wanted to be alone and the last thing that he felt he needed was to deal with a blonde idiot.

He made his way toward the coffee shop located on campus. He needed something to wake him up after getting very little sleep. It happened every year, he’d have nightmares about that night on the anniversary. He was going to a place he only went to on the anniversary of that day. The young Uchiha knew that if he were going to deal with the day, he needed coffee.

**NS**

When Suigetsu woke up that morning he knew that he had to go to Sasuke before the man tortured himself and went somewhere that reminded him of that day. He looked at the clock, _'Eight o'clock.'_ He let out a sigh as he continued to think, _'He probably isn't in his room anymore.'_ He knew that Sasuke found it difficult to sleep the night before the anniversary and tended to wake up early because even when he got to sleep, he didn't stay asleep very long. _'I wonder where he's going this time,'_ he thought as he got up and threw on whatever clean clothes he could find in his closet.

Suigetsu quickly made his way toward Sasuke's room, hoping to catch him before he was able to disappear for the day. He knocked on the door to be greeted by a tired looking blonde. "Is Sasuke here?" Suigetsu asked, knowing that by the look he was receiving from Naruto the other man just wanted him to explain why he was there.

"Nope," the blonde answered. "He wouldn't tell me where he was going either," he added, as if anticipating the next question. "Trust me, I did try to find out. He ignored me, as usual," Naruto frowned. The blonde’s annoyance was evident in his voice, not only had he been woken up but he was also completely out of the loop. He didn’t understand why Sasuke seemed to hate him so much when he barely knew him.

Suigetsu nodded, "Thanks anyway." He walked away, _'Damn it Sasuke, where would you go?'_ He started to think of the places the Uchiha usually went on that day. _'Might as well just check them all, but where to start?'_ he wondered as he started to make his way out of the dorms. He could hear Naruto yelling at him for some better explanation for why the man looked so worried, but he ignored it, knowing that if Sasuke wanted him to know then he'd tell him.

**NS**

Sasuke walked to the one place he felt most vulnerable: his father's grave. It wasn’t a far walk from campus and he needed to clear his mind. No matter how old he got his father made him feel weak, even after his death. Every time he thought of his father it would remind him of how horrible of a man his father was. Yet, he’d give anything just for him to be alive so Itachi wouldn’t be jail. He’d take the abuse if it meant he’d have his brother in his life rather than sitting behind bars. He couldn’t help but think that it was partly his fault for not speaking out when he had the chance.

He looked around to make sure he was alone before silently looking at the tombstone for a while. Sasuke knew that it was unlikely anyone else would be in the cemetery that early, but he didn’t want anyone to hear what he had to say. He always felt a little crazy when he went to his father's grave because he always talked to his father while he was there. He finally started to speak after a few minutes of collecting his thoughts, "I always feel weird coming to see you." He looked down as he continued, "It's not like you were ever really a father to me." He started to play with the grass in front of him. "I wish that I could ask you why you did it," he admitted. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't comprehend what would make his father abuse his entire family. "Did it make you feel better to take all of your frustrations out on us?" he asked, though he knew that he wouldn't get an answer. All he wanted was to understand why everything happened, but he knew that he never would.

Sasuke lied down on the grass, closing his eyes a moment to calm himself down. His heart was racing a little as he remembered the day so vividly in his mind. "Why couldn't we just have been a normal family?" he asked to no one in particular. "I just wish that it never happened," he said, his eyes still closed. "I wish that everything was different. That you didn't abuse us, that mother never pulled the trigger, and most of all I wish that Itachi never confessed," he said. He opened his eyes, trying to forget the memories.

"That'd be nice, wouldn't it?" a voice behind him said, startling the young Uchiha. Sasuke sat up and turned to see Suigetsu standing behind him. "Have you been here all day?" the other man asked, hoping that the answer was no.

Sasuke held up his coffee, "No, I got coffee this morning." Suigetsu just frowned at him and Sasuke said, "I really haven't been here that long." He let out a sigh as he said, "I should have known that you'd come find me." Every year Suigetsu searched for him in attempt to make him do something else. He knew that he was predictable; he only went a number of places on that particular day so he wasn't that difficult to find.

"This was actually the first place I looked," Suigetsu replied as he sat next to the dark haired man. "You're getting a little predictable," he smiled, trying to get the Uchiha to do the same. When he saw that it wasn't working, he tried a different tactic, "Do you really think it's healthy to visit his grave?" He never understood why Sasuke would go to the gravesite of the one person that hurt him the most in his life.

"Probably not," Sasuke shrugged. "But I need to find some way to get some closure," he added as he looked down. He knew that it probably wasn't the best thing for him to do, but that was why it was his one place that he didn't go to very often. He never went to his mother’s grave. There was a tombstone in her honor, but he knew the truth. He figured she was probably still alive somewhere, but he didn’t particularly care after everything she caused when she left. He could have forgiven her for killing the man that caused them all so much pain, but he could never forgive her for letting Itachi take the blame while she ran away.

Suigetsu just nodded, "I get it." He looked at him, "But that doesn't mean that you should be alone." He knew that it wasn't a day to mess with Sasuke, that he shouldn't do anything that may make the man feel worse. Instead, he just tried to be the best friend that he could, it was the only thing that he could do on that particular day. Sasuke didn't say anything; at that point they both knew that the conversation was over. Sasuke just wanted silence and Suigetsu knew that he couldn't make the man leave, but he could be there for him if he needed him.

Sasuke leaned his head against Suigetsu’s shoulder as a silent thank you. It wasn’t something he did often; he seemed to feel as if any form of affection was something he didn’t deserve, even if it was platonic. He could feel the tear drop through his shirt but didn’t say anything. He knew Sasuke hated people seeing him in such a state and wasn’t going to bring it up when he knew it was probably something Sasuke needed to let out. Sasuke tried to protect himself by acting as if he was emotionless, but Suigetsu knew better so he’d sit there with him as long as Sasuke needed.

**NS**

Naruto sat at the desk in Kiba’s room, talking with the brunette. "I think my roommate is a freak," the blonde said with a frustrated sigh. "I mean the guy doesn't talk to me unless it's a short sentence," he continued. "It's like he hates me without even knowing me.” He was still trying to figure out how a person could him in such a short amount of time.

"Just because someone doesn't like you doesn't mean they're a freak," Kiba laughed. Before Naruto could argue, Kiba added, "Just be your persistent self, I'm sure you’ll wear him down eventually." He wasn't sure if it were true, but he knew it'd be entertaining to watch the blonde's attempts at making friends.

"How? The guy won't talk to me, how can I get him to be my friend?" the blonde asked doubtfully. He crossed his arms across his chest, "I'd thought that you'd agree with me, after all he doesn't like you either."

"I really couldn't give a rats ass whether he likes me or not," Kiba said with a shrug. "The guy is a bastard, as you so often say, why would I care if he likes me?" he asked, wishing the conversation about Sasuke would just end. "How about you complain to him because I'm sick of talking about him. I'd really rather talk about _anything_ but him," he said, obviously annoyed. He had been friends with Naruto long enough to know that once the blonde focused in on a subject he wouldn't just let it go and accept that he couldn't make it change.

"Okay I get it, I won't talk about Sasuke anymore," Naruto rolled his eyes. "It's not like I was talking about him _that_ much.”

"Trust me, you were," Kiba replied still annoyed. He moved as he dodged the pen Naruto threw at him. "Don't take it out on me, it's not my fault you're getting obsessed with him," Kiba chuckled. He loved to mess with the blonde, especially when it got as much of a reaction out of him as Sasuke did. Kiba understood why Naruto was mad because it brought thoughts of his early childhood back. Before they became friends Naruto was an outcast, but he wasn't going to bring that fact into the conversation. He knew it was true that once people got to know the blonde, they tended to like him and so he wasn't going to argue.

"I'm not obsessed," Naruto huffed. "I've just never had someone hate me so much so soon," he argued. "You know what I agree, let's just change the subject," the blonde quickly said, making Kiba laugh once again. He was done thinking about his roommate; thinking about him only frustrated him in the end and it just wasn't worth it.

**NS**

Naruto got back to his dorm relatively late. When he walked into his room he saw Sasuke staring up at the ceiling, obviously thinking about something. It was at that moment that Naruto found himself wishing he could read minds as he thought, _'I doubt he'll tell me anything, but it's worth a try.'_ He started to look through his drawer for something to wear, "So where were you today?" He looked over at the dark haired man, knowing that he shouldn't expect an answer. He was starting to realize that the man was more guarded than any government building.

"None of your business," he answered, not looking directly at him. He had a mixture of sadness and anger showing in his eyes. The rest of his face looked indifferent, but his eyes showed something completely different. His eyes showed that he actually did have some feelings.

"Okay," Naruto said, finding himself once again frustrated. "Always great talking to you," he said sarcastically as he made his way to the bathroom connected to their room. He shut the door and turned on the shower. _'Bastard,'_ he thought. _'Well, whether he knows it or not, by the end of the semester he will be my friend,'_ Naruto thought, never being one to back down from a challenge and at that point he saw Sasuke as a challenge. He was a challenge and Naruto felt he was only going to beat it was if he got the dark haired man to be his friend.


	7. Voices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Voices by Motionless in White

**“Voices in my head again, trapped in a war inside my own skin”**

Friday afternoon Naruto was lying on his bed in just his boxers trying to cool down as he played on his phone. The heat was blasting in the dorms to combat the cold weather outside. He wasn’t sure who made that decision but he hated them at that moment. He saw nothing wrong with lying around half naked. He was alone in the dorm room so he figured it was perfectly acceptable and even if he weren't alone, his roommate was a guy so it wasn't like he was showing anything off that should make him uncomfortable. In his opinion it wasn't any worse than if he were at the pool just wearing swim trunks.

He heard the door open, pulling him away from his phone. "Hey Sasuke," he smiled before going back to his game. He didn't notice the look on Sasuke's face as he did so. "How was class?" he asked trying to strike up conversation with his aloof roommate.

When he got no response he looked back at Sasuke. The man was staring at him, clearly shocked by the man’s state of undress. Naruto was proud of his body so he didn't care what the other man thought of him. His hot asshole roommate could look all he wanted; it just made him feel more confident. "What's wrong?" he asked with a mischievous smile. He loved getting any kind of reaction out of the man, mainly because it was difficult to do.

Sasuke was half disgusted and half attracted to the other man, but despite his better judgment he couldn’t seem to look away. He couldn't help but stare at Naruto's tan, well-toned chest. After a few moments he finally snapped himself out of the daze that Naruto's body seemed to put him in, "Stop being a pig and put some clothes on." He turned away from Naruto and walked over to his bed, trying not to replay the image in his mind.

"It's hot in here," Naruto whined, not liking the idea of clothes, especially when it made Sasuke look at him like that. "It’s not like I’m completely naked,” he argued, grabbing some more chips out of the bag. "Want some?" he asked, holding out the bag toward Sasuke.

"What I want is for you to put some clothes on," Sasuke said, his voice filled with disgust. "And stop making such a mess," he added as he started to pick up Naruto's clothes that were scattered on the ground. He threw them at the blonde, making sure at least one article of clothing would hit him in the face.

"Would you rather I just lay here in my birthday suit?" he grinned. He was answered with a pair of jeans being thrown at his head. "Okay, I get it. You don't want to see me and all my sexiness with no clothes on," Naruto laughed. "But this is my room too, so really you can't tell me what to do," he said, feeling as if he'd won the argument. Sasuke glared at him, making Naruto laugh, "Do you always have to be this stuck up?"

"I don't know do you always have to be this annoying?" Sasuke retorted, getting frustrated with the blonde. He didn't want to admit that he did actually enjoy the sight, that'd just inflate Naruto’s ego more. "Just put some fucking clothes on," he demanded. Part of him couldn't help but think about how much he looked like his ex-boyfriend, which made him hate the blonde more. Logically he knew that he shouldn’t hate the man just for looking like someone he hated. Just because they looked similar didn’t mean they acted the same. It wasn’t as if they were twins, Naruto had some different features that set him apart from the other man. Sasuke hadn’t let himself get close enough to determine if they had similar personalities. 

"I'm sorry I don't have any clothes made specifically for fucking," Naruto replied, knowing he was annoying the dark haired man. "Leather is sexy but I'm not really in to playing dress up," he said innocently, knowing that he was irritating Sasuke. He knew that irritating Sasuke was one of the only ways to get the man talk to him. When he saw the glare he received from Sasuke he grinned, "Fine, I'll put some clothes on." He got up and started to pick out a new pair of clothes for him to wear. "But only if you come out with me and my friends tonight," he said, holding a pair of jeans in his hand.

Sasuke was silent for a moment. He let himself stare at the blonde again, _'Damn it, I can't let him walk around like that or we're going to have some serious problems.'_ He knew that he may not bet attracted to the blonde emotionally, but physically was an entirely different story. Physically the other man was just his type, no matter how much he hated to admit that Suigetsu was right. He sighed and said, "I can't tonight."

"Why not?" Naruto asked. He knew that Sasuke always went somewhere on Friday but he never said where he was going. "It's Friday night, it's not like you have class tomorrow," he argued. Part of him was hoping that Sasuke would tell him where he went every Friday, but he doubted that it would happen.

"That's none of your business," Sasuke answered harshly. He didn't trust the blonde enough to tell him anything about Itachi. He also didn't think that Naruto knew his last name and telling him about it would be a dead giveaway. He liked the fact that Naruto didn't know who he was and it made it so that the blonde couldn't ask any questions about the incident. He hated the pity that he often received when people realized who he was and what they thought had happened to him. Once they found out, people tended to act as if he were fragile and ready to break at any moment.

"Then tomorrow," Naruto said, knowing that Sasuke never went out on Saturdays unless Suigetsu came and dragged him out of the room. "Your friend Suigetsu can come too, we're having a guys night," Naruto added, trying to convince him. He noticed that Sasuke wouldn’t give in so he used the only leverage he had, "It's the only way you're going to get me to put my clothes back on. I mean if I really wanted to I could just take the rest of my clothes off."

Sasuke thought about it a moment before he said, "Fine, I'll go." He grabbed a new pair of clothes for himself and started to walk toward the bathroom while saying, "I'll be in the shower, when I'm done you better have some clothes on."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Naruto chuckled. He started to put his clothes back on as he mumbled, "Asshole." Naruto had his excuses, but he couldn’t really explain why he was so adamant on getting to know Sasuke, all he knew was that he wanted to be friends with the man. He pulled out his phone and text Kiba: **' _I'm coming over. I'll see you in ten minutes.'_** He walked out of the door, smiling to himself, _'Tomorrow night is going to be fun.'_

**NS**

Sasuke got to the prison, knowing the whole process that he'd have to go through just to talk to his brother for a short period of time. He sighed as the guard checked him over, making sure he wasn't trying to smuggle anything into his brother. The young Uchiha also had to sign in so that they knew who was there and whom they visited. "Sorry Sasuke, you know its policy," the guard said. Sasuke just nodded. He and the guard had slowly gotten to know each other over his years of visiting Itachi. The guard knew that Sasuke was a good kid so one day he started talking to him. The guard, Kenji, was an older man. He always wondered why the young Uchiha visited his brother, but never asked. Rather, he just came to expect that Sasuke would be there every Friday.

The young Uchiha sat down across from his brother. It always saddened him when he saw his brother behind the window because it always reminded him of how Itachi took the blame for something he didn't even do. It made him think about the life he was missing out on and how different everything could have been. "Hi," he said with a small smile.

"Hello Sasuke," Itachi said. The older Uchiha started the conversation the same way he always did, "Are you making any new friends?" He wanted Sasuke to be more social. He knew that the other man had trust issues, but he still hoped that eventually Sasuke would make more than three friends. There was nothing wrong with having a small circle of close friends, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t open up and meet more people. He knew that Sasuke hadn’t lived like a normal teenager and he hoped that he could have at least a normal college experience.

Sasuke couldn’t explain it, but he had always felt that if he let people in they probably wouldn’t like him anyway, so he tended to push everyone away. It was as if he could still hear his father telling him he’s not good enough. He could still hear his ex calling him a freak. People judging him without even knowing the truth that he’d held in for so long. He never told Itachi those feelings; it’d just make him worry, especially with what happened when he was in high school. He kept it bottled up inside and pretended everything was fine.

Sasuke looked down, "I don't know if you could call it that." When he just received silence, he knew that his brother wanted him to explain further. "I have this annoying roommate," he said with a sigh. "He's making me go with him and his friends for a guys night tomorrow," he added. "But Naruto's just really annoying and far from what I'd call a friend," he sounded as if he were trying to convince himself, not just Itachi. He wasn't sure why he brought Naruto up, especially when he was being asked about friends, but it somehow just slipped out.

"That sounds like a friend to me," Itachi said with a small smile. "It's good for you to make more friends," he told his brother. "You may think he's annoying and yet you're going out with him and his friends, that doesn't sound like you really hate him," Itachi pointed out. He knew his brother well and he knew that Sasuke wouldn't go somewhere if he didn't want to go.

"He's just a blonde moron, not a friend," Sasuke said. He refused to classify Naruto as a friend. If he classified Naruto as a friend it would mean that they'd hang out together and Sasuke didn't want that. He felt that he didn't need any more friends, especially not Naruto. They hardly talked so he couldn’t really call him a friend; he knew very little about him and planned to keep it that way. "I'm going with him and his friends because he was walking around the room in just his boxers and wouldn't put anything else on unless I agreed to go," Sasuke mumbled.

"So you're attracted to him?" Itachi grinned, hoping that Sasuke could finally movie on from what his asshole ex had put him through. Sasuke started to deny it causing his brother to say, "If you say so Sasuke." He couldn't help but think that even if they weren’t friends yet _he wouldn't have even brought him up if he truly believed that the boy wasn't going to be at least a friend in the future._ Itachi knew that he’d talk to him about it when he was ready. Itachi decided to change the subject, "How are your studies going?"

From there they continued to catch up. Itachi would laugh to himself every time Sasuke slipped up and brought Naruto into the conversation, which convinced Itachi more that his brother was attracted to the blonde at least a little. The time flew by and before they knew it their time was up, much to Sasuke’s dismay. He hated the fact that there were time limits, but he understood it was policy. “I’ll see you next week,” Sasuke promised.

Itachi smiled at his brother, "Yeah, I'll see you next week." As he watched his brother walk away and he was sure that by the next time they talked Sasuke would be friends with Naruto. _'It's good to see him becoming more social,'_ Itachi thought with a small smile as a guard came to lead him back to his cell.

**NS**

Meanwhile, Naruto sat at a bar with his friends Kiba, Shino, Gaara, Neji, Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru, Temari, Choji, Lee, and Hinata. He was feeling on top of the world in that moment. He'd had a few drinks in him and was surrounded by good friends. "Guess what," he said to Kiba with a smile on his face.

"You told Sasuke that you're hot for him," Kiba replied pleased with himself for thinking of such a response so quickly. He knew it would get the blonde riled up, which he found highly entertaining. "Is he hot for you too?" he asked, with a laugh as Naruto punched him on the arm.

"I'm not _hot_ for him," Naruto replied. "I did, however, get him to agree to go out with us tomorrow," he grinned. "I can't wait to see how he acts when we get a few drinks in him," Naruto said with a laugh. "Think he is as stuck up when he's drunk as he is sober?" he asked. He was very pleased with himself that he'd managed to get Sasuke to come out with them. The man hardly ever seemed to go out and never came back drunk when he did, but Naruto was planning on changing that.

"Gee, how did I know this would be a conversation about Sasuke?" Kiba mocked the blonde. "Oh wait, I remember now, it's because he's all you ever talk about lately," he rolled his eyes, taking another drink. Before Naruto could answer, Kiba turned to talk to Hinata, successfully ignoring Naruto.

Naruto just watched as nearly all of his friends were in some kind of odd relationship. He saw Sakura trying to ignore Lee's passes, though she secretly liked all of the attention he gave her. He saw Ino and Temari fighting over a satisfied looking Shikamaru. The brunette was smart enough not to interrupt the girls, knowing they'd try to make him chose one of them. Instead, he let them fight with each other and enjoy the fact that he had two girls that wanted him. Gaara and Neji talked, though too quiet for him to hear what it was about. He had a feeling the two had some kind of fling going on, but they'd never said anything. He wasn't about to call them out if they weren’t ready to tell anyone. Kiba and Hinata were flirting like always. Why the two didn't just make it official, Naruto wasn't sure. However, he walso asn't sure Hinata even knew that she was flirting with the brunette. She often looked at Naruto, which the blonde tried to ignore since he had no feelings whatsoever for the girl. The only two that Naruto noticed weren't hooking up with anyone were Choji and Shino. The two seemed perfectly content just sitting, talking, and eating. Sometimes he wasn’t sure why they bothered to come out since neither of them seemed to actually be interested.

Naruto had a conversation going with Shino and Choji, though he was only truly half paying attention. He didn't add much to the conversation, mostly because he was thinking about the next day and how he was going to drag Sasuke out with his friends. He wasn't sure why he was so excited, he just had a feeling it was going to be a good night. Perhaps he did talk about Sasuke too much, but he didn’t care. He had made a vow to himself that they would be friends by the end of the semester. _'Maybe it'll be the night that we actually become friends,'_ he thought smiling to himself. He didn't know that Saturday night would turn out to be a _very_ awkward night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :) 
> 
> This chapter was originally called "The Lazy Song" based on the Bruno Mars song but I feel like this song fits the mood better for Sasuke's insecurities in this chapter.


	8. Porn Star Dancing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Porn Star Dancing by My Darkest Days 
> 
> I was going to change the title of this chapter but thought it was too funny of a title to change.

Sasuke sat at a table outside on campus. He was starting to get annoyed with Suigetsu teasing him about how he was going to go out with Naruto and his friends. "I'm tagging along for this," Suigetsu grinned, making Sasuke deeply regret his decision to tell the other man. "I can't wait to see where he makes you go," he grinned. "What does a guys night out means to him," he laughed at the possibilities. "This will be great.” He was mildly impressed that Naruto had gotten him to agree to a guy's night out and he couldn't wait to see what would happen.

"Do you love my misery?" Sasuke groaned, wanting to slam his head on the table until he woke up from this nightmare. "I should have never agreed to this," he shook his head, wondering what he was thinking. "I should have just let him walk around half naked," he sighed, putting his head down on the table.

"Why didn't you?" Suigetsu asked. "Were you afraid you'd jump him if he didn't put some clothes on?" he asked with a grin. "Do you find him that attractive?" he continued to tease Sasuke. He hadn’t been able to have this much fun teasing Sasuke in a long time. After his disastrous relationship in high school, the other man never really dated.

"I _don't_ find him attractive," Sasuke practically hissed. "He's a moron, I don't like morons," the dark haired man glared. In reality he knew that he was physically attracted to Naruto, but he wasn't going to give Suigetsu the satisfaction of knowing that he’s right.

"He doesn't seem that stupid to me," Suigetsu shrugged. "I mean he did trick you into agreeing to come out with him," he pointed out. He noticed the look that Sasuke was giving him. It was one that meant he was getting ready to hit the light haired man if he didn’t shut up. "Okay, I get it. I'll stop," Suigetsu chuckled. _'Until tonight,'_ he thought with a smile on his face.

"It's okay, tease me all you want," Sasuke huffed. He had a look in his eyes that told him the dark haired man had some kind of plan. "I'll just go ahead and tell Karin where you're going tonight," he smirked. "You know how much she loves when you go out for a guys night," he added, once again getting the upper hand in the conversation.

It was at that moment that Karin walked over to the table. "You're timing is impeccable," Sasuke said with a pleased smirk. "We were just talking about you.” He could see that Suigetsu was getting uncomfortable with where the conversation was going and that was exactly what he wanted; it was his form pay back. After years of friendship he knew exactly how to get the under the other man’s skin.

"Only good things I hope," she said as she sat down next to Suigetsu. She was a bit possessive at times and they both knew that telling her they were going for a guy's night would likely upset her. Sasuke knew that it would end with her asking Suigetsu a series of questions and not stopping until she got every detail, basically putting him through hell.

"I was just wondering if Suigetsu had told you that he's tagging along for guys night," he said, looking at Suigetsu, obviously pleased with his actions. The glare he was receiving from the light haired man told him that he had accomplished his goal. 

"Oh really?" she said angrily. "Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?" she angrily asked. "And why do you need a guys night?" she continued to badger him. "You have a girlfriend, you don't need to go out with the guys to pick up chicks," she argued, crossing her arms.

' _Stupid asshole,'_ Suigetsu thought as he looked at Sasuke. He turned his attention toward Karin, "It's just a harmless night out. You know where guys can be guys," he tried to convince her that nothing would happen, when he saw the look on her face he realized that he didn't choose the best words. "Even if they do try to pick up chicks, I'm not going to participate," he said, hoping that would calm her down, though by the looks of it his words still weren't helping.

Sasuke saw the mess he'd gotten his best friend into and felt a little bad. He took pity on the other man; after all he wasn't completely heartless. "Don't worry, I'll be there," he assured Karin. "You know I'll make sure he doesn't do anything stupid," he added, making the girl calm down. She just nodded, realizing that she may have overacted a little bit. Suigetsu smiled at his friend, thankful that he helped him get out of trouble, even if he was the one that got him into it.

“Besides I’m only going because Sasuke’s roommate blackmailed him into going,” Suigetsu reassured her. “You can’t tell me you wouldn’t tag along to watch how the night plays out when all his roommate had to do to convince him was walk around half naked,” he grinned at Sasuke. “I’m just tagging along to watch the show.”

Karin laughed, “Seriously? That’s all he had to do. I didn’t know that you found him that attractive.”

“Blonde, blue eyes, he’s just Sasuke’s type,” Suigetsu told her. “As I said, this will be fun.”

She nodded, understanding why he would want to go. She was actually a little jealous that she didn’t get to tag along. “You better get video of anything crazy that happens,” she demanded. Sasuke sighed, once again in misery as the two teased him about his roommate.

**NS**

Sasuke was dreading having to go out with Naruto and his friends. The blonde was getting ready and Sasuke couldn't help but think, _'At least he's going to look hot while dragging me to where ever it is that him and his friends are going.'_ He didn't want the blonde to know that he was checking him out so he quickly turned away. It was difficult when all he could see was the blonde’s muscles in his tight shirt.

Naruto turned toward him, "Come on and get ready." He walked over and pulled the dark haired man onto his feet. "You can't wear that," he informed Sasuke with a grin, making it clear that it was unacceptable for him to wear sweat pants and a oversized hoodie. "And put on a smile, we're going to have fun," he added happily.

Sasuke just grunted as he got up and pulled out whatever clothes he found first. "Whatever," he grunted, still not smiling. "But I'm not going to like it," he stated as he started to change, not even thinking about the fact that Naruto was standing across the room.

Naruto stared at the other man, _'Why does he have to be such a bastard? Such a hot bastard.'_ His eyes scanned over Sasuke's body, which just confirmed the fact that he was physically perfect. He couldn't deny that Sasuke was hot and anyone that did was either blind or lying. "I didn't think you'd ever be comfortable to change in front of me. I mean you always seem to change in the bathroom," Naruto smirked once Sasuke was dressed again.

Sasuke looked at the blonde, trying to hide his blush. "Shut up moron," he said, turning away from Naruto. He quickly walked into the bathroom, acting like he needed to fix his hair although he'd already done it earlier that day.

' _Hope that's not an indication of how the night's going to go, that was a little awkward,'_ Naruto thought, realizing he probably shouldn't have said anything. He also probably shouldn’t have blatantly ogled the man as he changed, but he was human and he anyone would have taken the opportunity. "We should probably get going," Naruto said, looking at the clock next to his bed. "I told Kiba we'd meet up with him about ten minutes ago so we're already late," he smiled, trying to change Sasuke's attitude.

The other man just nodded. “I should probably text Suigetsu,” he mumbled.

Naruto smiled, understanding why Sasuke wanted his friend there since he didn’t really know anyone else. “Tell him to meet us outside the dorm.” He thought back to the first time he briefly met the man and what he had said about why Sasuke had such a cold reaction towards him. He kind of hoped that maybe a little alcohol would make Suigetsu tell him a little bit more. He’d rather hear it from Sasuke, but he’d take what he could get considering the dark haired man didn’t seem like he’d be a nice talkative drunk.

**NS**

Sasuke's eyebrow started to twitch out of annoyance. When they arrived to their destination he found out it was a strip club and watching girls strip wasn't exactly what he thought of as a good night. Suigetsu stood beside him laughing, knowing that Sasuke was gay. "You could always go upstairs and watch the guys," he said quietly with a smile. He was finding that the night was going to be more entertaining than he first expected.

Sasuke glared at him, "Shut up asshole." He elbowed him in the ribs and continued on to say, "And don't say that." He looked around to see they were somewhat separated from the group, "One of them might hear you." It wasn't that he really cared what Naruto or his friends thought, he just didn't want it to be awkward between the two of them. He’d dealt with his fair share of homophobic people, but he didn’t want to live with one and he didn’t know how Naruto would react.

"That might be pretty awkward," Suigetsu agreed, respecting Sasuke’s decision not to say anything. He’d seen what Sasuke had been through in the past, not everyone was as accepting of the fact that he was gay. Neither of them knew Naruto or his friends well enough to know how they’d act around him if they knew, so he agreed it may be best to keep it quiet for now. It wasn’t like Sasuke ever really dated so it was unlikely that he’d ever need to tell him he was gay if he didn’t want to. He sighed as he started pulling the other man toward Naruto and his friends, "Come on, it won't be that bad."

"I beg to differ," Sasuke grumbled. He soon found himself sitting near the stage with the rest of the guys. Most of them were putting ones in the girl's underwear or throwing them on the stage. One of the girls tried to come near Sasuke, staring at him as if he were her prey. Sasuke just rolled his eyes and looked away from the girl. He was bored and therefore he was drinking a little. Sasuke knew better than to actually get drunk, he tended to do stupid things when he was drunk.

Kiba was sitting between Suigetsu and Naruto. They were all talking and Suigetsu and Kiba were becoming quick friends. However, Suigetsu didn't know what to do when Kiba suddenly said, "I don't think that he's interested in girls." He signaled toward Sasuke, showing exactly whom he was talking about. Suigetsu’s eyes went wide and he quickly turned away as if he had never been part of the conversation.

"Why do you say that?" Naruto asked. He figured that Sasuke was straight; after all, the guy didn't act gay. He knew that didn't mean anything though, not everyone was the stereotypical flamboyant gay. In the short time Naruto had known him, he’d never made any indication as to his sexual preferences, though that wasn’t surprising as he didn’t really say much at all.

"He looks bored," Kiba pointed out. He noticed that Suigetsu was pretending not to listen to their conversation, which he also thought was a dead giveaway. "What do you think Suigetsu?" Kiba asked, pulling him fully into the conversation. If anyone would know the answer it was Suigetsu, it was getting the truth out that would be the hard part.

"I don't know," Suigetsu shrugged. Suigetsu knew that if Sasuke wanted them to know then he'd tell him. Kiba just chuckled, not believing him.

"I'll go talk to him," Naruto said, standing up and walking over Sasuke. Kiba watched him leave, not sure if Naruto wanted to know because it meant he could make a move on Sasuke, or if he really didn't believe him. He figured it was probably a mix of both.

"Hey," Naruto said, sitting next to Sasuke. "What's wrong?" he asked, gaining Sasuke's full attention. "You seem bored," the blond said explaining his question. "What none of these girls are capturing your attention?" he asked. He hoped he'd get an answer out of Sasuke since the dark haired man had a little to drink.

"No girl captures my attention," Sasuke said, rolling his eyes as he got up and walked away. He was making his way toward the exit, not wanting to see Naruto's reaction to what he'd just said. He didn't want to think about how awkward the rest of the semester was going to be after his statement. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of his sexuality, he just knew how some people were homophobic and he didn’t know Naruto well enough to know if he was one of them.

Naruto sat there stunned for a moment, _'Wait what?'_ He quickly got up, trying to catch up with the other man. When he got outside of the club he saw Sasuke walking in the direction of the school. "Hey Sasuke wait up," Naruto called as he ran to catch up with the dark haired man.

"What do you want?" Sasuke asked as he stopped and looked at the blond. He put his hands in his jacket pocket, somewhat nervous as to how the blond was going to react. He didn't look Naruto directly in the eyes; he didn't want to know how he'd react to having a gay roommate.

"So," Naruto started not sure how to start the conversation. "You're gay?" he asked, getting straight to the point. He could feel the tension between them and knew this was probably the most awkward conversation they'd had so far.

"No, I'm asexual," said Sasuke sarcastically. He could tell that the blonde actually believed him so he sighed and said, "Yes, you moron, I'm gay." He just shrugged and said, "So what?"

"It's not it's a problem," Naruto quickly said, not wanting Sasuke to think that he was homophobic. "I just didn't expect you to be gay. I mean asexual would actually make a lot more sense than you being gay," he tried to joke. "You don't really act gay," he pointed out, seeing that Sasuke wasn’t finding his joke funny. "Except maybe your hair, you do take a while to do your hair," the blonde thought out loud. It made sense now why Sasuke went out with them just to make Naruto put on clothes. He didn’t think there was any emotional attraction, but he was pretty sure the physical attraction was not one-sided. 

Sasuke just glared at him, "What do you expect everyone to be straight like you?" He really wasn't sure why he was still participating in the conversation. Part of him just wanted to walk away and pretend the conversation, or more the entire night, had never happened.

"I'm not straight," he blurted out. "I mean I can appreciate the female body," he signaled toward the strip club. "But I don't date them," he added. It was in that moment that he felt he might have made the conversation a little more awkward, if that were possible.

"Oh," was all Sasuke could say, he really wasn't expecting that answer. He decided it was time for the conversation to end and quickly turned and started to walk toward the school once again. He needed to digest what Naruto said and at that point he really didn't know how to react. Naruto was one of the last people he'd expect to be gay, however, after thinking about it the blonde did tend to stare at him a little too much. _'Why did I not see that coming?'_ he asked himself. If he were honest, all of the signs were there; he was just ignoring them because it was easier to deal with his hot roommate if he were straight

Naruto watched Sasuke walking away, lost in his own thoughts. They both needed some time to process and hoped that it would make things less awkward when he saw him again. He wanted someone to talk to but he knew his friends were busy getting drunk and would probably just laugh at his situation. Kiba was usually a good friend, but when he was drinking he wasn’t the most reliable person to go to for advice so instead tried to think it through on his own. _'Well, that was awkward. What am I supposed to do, act like nothing happened?'_ He let out a sigh as he continued his internal battle, _'Right, just act like nothing happened, that's what I'll do.'_ He watched Sasuke's retreating frame, _'And I will not try to get into his pants, even if I do know that he's gay.'_ He bit his bottom lip, trying not to think inappropriate thoughts about Sasuke, _'A very hot gay bastard.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda one of my least favorite chapters in this fic...let me know what you think

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think...should I continue revising/posting?


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